Sunday, January 01, 2006

2006: my gorge rises at it

It's been 2006 for a few hours now... I fell asleep in the midafternoon on Saturday and woke up around 11PM, then blearily decided to draw some pics and cobble together a New Year's post. At that point, I knew there'd be no way to slap the post up in time for midnight, Seoul time, but I wish you all a very Happy New Year all the same. As a consolation, I know this post will be up in time for New Year's on the American east coast. Happy New Year, Mom, Dad, Dave, Mike & family, Steve & Erangee, TGJ & family, Dave & family, Arn, and all the other East Coasters! Happy New Year to Sean in Toronto, and to Julie & family in the State of Misery, and to all the others not on the east coast! Happy New Year to the folks who've written me over the past two-and-a-half years with their comments and insights.

One thing I've never liked about this time of year, though, is the way people trot out the clichéd images. Like the following:

Trite, yes? Can't say I've ever enjoyed that image. It's boring. It's obvious. Surely there must be better ways of depicting the arrival of the new and the exit of the old.

How about something more exciting, like this:

I think the above is a decent way to show what it's like: a poignant reminder of our equestrian past, with a helicopter symbolizing our present and future.

If excitement is the wrong way to go, we could also go for intimate. How about the following:

A seductive red background, and a man eating pussy. Surely this is a better, more forceful way to symbolize the passage from old to new!


I told you before that my parents had given me a cereal called "Optimum Zen" as a gag gift. Since my arrival, that's all I've been eating, along with my remaining fruit, to save money. The cereal is actually pretty good. In fact, I've decided to spread the word:

I hope you'll try Optimum Zen-- the cereal that'll make you as strong and healthy as I am.

By the way... if you think using a fat man to advertise healthy food is a mistake, allow me to remind you of Exhibit A:

If the great Wilford Brimley can shill for Quaker Oats, then I don't see what the problem is with my whoring for Optimum Zen.

May the new year bring you everything you desire... except that one thing.



Sylvana said...

Wilford Brimley's flaming fart is brilliant. Happy New Year. I'm still waiting for it here in Wisconsin.

Kevin Kim said...

Of course: the one image I didn't actually draw gets all the accolades. Yeah, Happy New Year to you, too, dammit.


Anonymous said...

Happy 2006, Kev.

Maven said...

"Zen Cereal: For Enlightened Colons!"

Happy New Year Wishes, and May Your Farts Always be Downwind!

Jelly said...

Happy New Year, Kevin. I swear, I dreamt about you and Zen Cereal this afternoon. Every morsel of cereal was individually wrapped - it was so pretty! You left it on a counter and I tried a bit and gave a piece each to two kids standing nearby. You didn't notice when you came back to get your cereal.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year, Kevin!

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year and 새해 복 많이 받으세요.

And if it will make you feel any better, I thought your original images were rather amusing. The helicopter-ass one cracked me up.