Tuesday, May 23, 2006

who rules Bartertown?

I was five minutes late to class this morning (Tuesday, Seoul time) because my ass was giving me trouble. I'm pretty sure the trouble was linked to the milk I'd drunk the night before: the milk, which I'd bought at a skanky little shop, was a bit off. When we add to that the fact that I'm becoming increasingly lactose intolerant in my old age (insidious Asian genes kicking in at last), it's a recipe for intestinal disaster.

I was awakened by my ass around 3am, Tuesday morning. Although I tried to get back to sleep, I was denied the privilege. Instead, my ass kept forcing me to go to the bathroom. Before 3am, my sleep was plagued with weird visions and nightmares, some of which I still remember.

The end result of all this was that it took me longer than usual to get ready in the morning, and I was still bombarding the toilet right up to the time I had to leave.

Later in the day we had a staff meeting at Smoo, for which I think I was only half-awake. (Apologies to my coworkers for being more of a zombie than usual.)

Tonight, my guts feel a bit better, largely because I ate only one meal the entire day. There's still a bit of rumbling going on, but I'm going to attack that with an extra-strong dose of Metamucil-- a bit like shutting a crying baby up with a fist-sized glob of peanut butter.

(A note to those of you who own, raise, and sell babies: that was a freakin' joke, so don't write in to express your outrage.)

Newcomers to this blog might be asking themselves, "I found this blog through one of the Koreablog lists. What does this nasty-ass post have to do with Korea?"

To which I would reply:

Everything, my child.




Anonymous said...


As a father of two, I am shocked that you would silence a crying baby with a "fist-sized glob of peanut butter". The humane method is a half-pint of Bailey's Irish Cream, followed by a vigorous shaking.

Anonymous said...

> Everything.

Plus, you totally validated it with the reference to Seoul time.


Yeah, that's a slanty-eyed smiley. I know you like it.