Tuesday, May 09, 2006

why Dolly Parton should never wear a tube top

This is my essay.

It is about Dolly Parton.

Dolly Parton has enormous breasts.

Do you like my essay?

When Dolly Parton's breasts slap together, they make thunder and ripple for days.

Cats have entered Dolly Parton's cleavage and gone missing.

Later searches have found nothing but cat hair.

Some claim there is an insidious link between Dolly Parton's breasts and the Mafia.

I have tried to confirm this link by sending in cat after cat.

So far, results are inconclusive.

Dolly Parton's breasts prevent her from performing certain activities well, but those activities do not include sex, with the possible exception of titty-fucking. You titty-fuck Dolly Parton at your peril.

I think Dolly Parton's breasts have what Mr. Spock would call "a singular topology."

Dolly Parton has killed thousands of horses with her nipples. Strangely enough, this has not hurt her reputation as a country singer.

The only animal to survive an encounter with Dolly Parton's breasts was a sperm whale.

Dolly Parton is capable of wearing many dresses, but a tube top is not for her. There are several reasons for this.

First and foremost, a tube top would restrict Dolly Parton's ability to kill horses.

Second, Dolly Parton's breasts prefer their cats unfiltered.

Third, if Dolly Parton ever tried to run in a tube top, it would migrate south and become a thong.

We like Dolly Parton because she and her breasts are golden and sincere.

That concludes my essay. Thank you for reading.



Anonymous said...

i canNOT believe that no one has yet congratulated you on how well your students have come along on their english writing skills. -hk

Kevin Kim said...

HK, you rock.