Thursday, May 31, 2007

postal scrotum: forwarded email

I'm not really into email-forwarded jokes, but I thought this was cool. As often happens with clever monologues and rants about social issues, this one was attributed to George Carlin, who may or may not have actually composed the following.

George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline

Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq . Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military. Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo. Problem solved. If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends.

I just did.
George Carlin

The above says "11 million less people," which makes me doubt the message's "Carlinic" origins. George Carlin is a stickler for proper language, and he would note that the proper diction is "11 million fewer people." So maybe he wrote the above, or maybe he didn't. I lean toward the latter, but think the piece is funny, in a Starship Troopers sort of way, no matter who did write it.