Friday, May 25, 2007

this trend saddens me

The decline of Western civilization is evident when we (rightly!) condemn other cultures for the deliberate truncation of female genitalia... then voluntarily submit to similar surgical procedures for appearance's sake.

Ladies-- you're beautiful. That Bermuda Triangle-- bearded or bald, popping out like a jack-in-the-box or as retiring as a frightened hermit crab-- that Mons Veneris, vertical smile, axe wound, spam purse, and minge: it is sublime to us men. If you trust no one else, trust that Zen master, Billy Joel: we love you just the way you are. Any man who thinks you need such alteration should be dragged out and shot. Any woman who (as the linked article suggests) looks at a fashion mag or porn vid and thinks I wish I looked like that ought to take some time out for deep reflection. Ruminate before you mutilate!

As Mr. Miyagi might have said, "Reeb-uh you pushy arone!"

You just watch those yeast levels, I'll promise to scrub out my fromunda cheese, and we're all good. In the meantime, fight this stupid trend and dump it on the trash heap of history, alongside asshole bleaching.



Sperwer said...

Yikes! Where (how?) do you find this shit?

Kevin Kim said...

Pray hard enough, and the Drudge Report will provide.


Anonymous said...

Yanno, actually I saw an episode of "Dr. 90210," which involved a yound woman (couldn't have been more than 17 or 18) who went in for "labia-plasty," because she thought her vulva was too big, pronounced, whatever, and claimed she was embarrassed when she wore bathing suits.

This episode, coincidentally, had a segment devoted to a "B" porn star, who went in for sphincter bleaching.

Kind of a sad commentary on our "land of plenty." There she is worried about something so superficial (it didn't cause her any urological problems), yet, there are children in third world nations with cleft palates etc just-about-dependent on the kindness of organizations such as Doctors Without Frontiers to fix such outright deformities.

I wonder for the amount of money she (or in this case, her parents) spent on her snatch reconstruction; and by extension, I wonder how many cleft palates that could have fixed.

Anonymous said...

You mean asshole bleaching isn't wang-imnida-yo anymore? Damn.

Anonymous said...

I always learn something new when I stop by, and today was no exception. Never dreamed that amongst all the unbelievable stuff people do to their bodies in the name of beauty anyone would come up with these, ahem, modifications. Now I can have nightmares...