Sunday, August 05, 2007

challenged to a fight

I'm afraid the rumors are true: I disparaged the Mixed Martial Arts tournaments (Ultimate Fighting, Pride, etc.) as bullshit and have been challenged to a fight at an MMA gym in Korea by commenter "william" [sic]. I have accepted the challenge and have offered to film the fight. Now it's just a matter of waiting until william comes to Korea to kick my ass.

You can read the amazing exchange between me and william here. Notice how it started off innocently enough, with me praising Matt Damon's hard work training in krav maga, which I correctly described as an Israeli martial art. This was too much for william, who politely asserted, "'Israeli martial art krav maga' my ass." He then proceeded to explain that any true martial art wouldn't involve dishonorable techniques like penis-grabbing (!) and so on. I rightly pointed out that most martial arts teach these "dishonorable" techniques, and noted that fighting for money isn't exactly honorable, if honor is the issue.

william seems obsessed with the word "honor," but he obviously has no understanding of the word as it's used by serious martial artists. Most major schools teach that you don't disparage the other fighting styles. Of course, this precept is violated routinely, and inter-dojo fights have taken place, and still do, as people compete for the sake of "face." But honorable martial artists are taught that violence is always the last option, that you don't just pick fights out of the blue, and that you don't bray about your own prowess or wear stupid pride on a sleeve. william, by contrast, charged into the Nomad's comment thread in a rude and crass manner, invited Your Humble Narrator to fight him when he's next in Korea, and worst of all, failed to understand my basic point, which wasn't to insult the various martial arts themselves, but to note that MMA tournaments don't settle the questions they claim to settle-- namely, Which fighting style is best?

It's been ages since I've been in a real fight, but I'm not about to pussy out because of one insecure, overcompetitive guy's challenge. Anyway, have fun reading the exchange for yourselves. We might get a cool MPEG out of all this as william arrives in Korea for the Hominid beatdown. Yes!

UPDATE: In a possibly-related move, Sperwer sends me a link to an article about how to lose your man-tits.



Anonymous said...

My comment at Nomad’s;

“I guess William will be the 'honorable' badass, but with no/damaged reproductive organs?”

Should tweak him a bit.

- - - - -

And yes, it is 0440 Sun morn in NoVA, and I’m typing w/one hand while trying give his mom another 30 min of sleep b/f feeding. . .

Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Big Ho, you have insulted the deity with your blasphemous posts and your lies about the Harry Potter series.

God's honor is at stake (again), but He's pretty busy these days and for the indefinte future, so I've volunteered to take you on.

Next time that you're in the vicinity of Betelgeuse, you are bound by honor to fight honorably over God's honor. (Either that, or your soul shall be required of thee!) Then, you'll maybe think twice before you again trumpet your lack of faith in a personal God!

Just you be glad that it's me and not the Lord God that you'll be facing!

Honorably Yours,

Sir Geoffree Haujes

* * *

Malcolm Pollack said...

She offered her honor,
he honored her offer -
and all night long,
he was on her and off her.