Sunday, August 05, 2007

a comment

A reader writes in:


I read the exchange between you and "william." To me it somehow seems beneath you to enter into a dialogue (if you could call it that) with this person. It is obvious that "william" is more interested in flaming (to use an internet term) and heaping scurrilous invective on you---all under the pusillanimous cover of anonymity (yeah, I know, I'm guilty of the same cowardice, but for different reasons)---than in engaging in a coherent intellectual exchange: he didn't thoroughly read your posts and (therefore) he avoided your very pertinent questions.

Perhaps you find it intellectually stimulating to defend your ideas to visitors of the ilk of "william." (Me myself, there are so many things I want to do with my time, but I enjoy sending you occasional letters as it allows me to exercise my brain.) Whatever the case may be, I can't help thinking that you speaking eloquently and rationally to "william" would be like me reading poetry to a dog---Fido just wouldn't get it.

"Like reading sutras to a cow," as the East Asian Buddhist expression goes.

Personally, I'd rather not get my ass beaten, especially for a stupid reason, but if the guy's going to issue a challenge (and to be honest, all he really did was "invite" me to a gym and engage in speculation on what he'd do if I touched his penis... I'm not really sure why he took the conversation in that direction, but to each his own), then who am I to say no?

Hell, it'll make great TV if it happens.

Anyway, I concede it was probably "beneath" me to engage a flamer (in the "flame-war" sense, not the "penis-touching" sense), but I had to wonder how someone could make such idiotic claims about martial arts, as if he really knew what techniques were considered "honorable" and so on. Even a superficial study of the martial arts leads one to the conclusion that they all contain pragmatic moves-- attacks to the groin, the knees, the eyes, the throat, and so on.

For your entertainment, here is the list of fouls in the Ultimate Fighting Championship:

Butting with the head.
Eye gouging of any kind.
Hair pulling.
Fish hooking.
Groin attacks of any kind.
Putting a finger into any orifice or into any cut or laceration on an opponent.
Small joint manipulation.
Striking to the spine or the back of the head.
Striking downward using the point of the elbow.
Throat strikes of any kind, including, without limitation, grabbing the trachea.
Clawing, pinching or twisting the flesh.
Grabbing the clavicle.
Kicking the head of a grounded opponent.
Kneeing the head of a grounded opponent.
Stomping a grounded opponent.
Kicking to the kidney with the heel.
Spiking an opponent to the canvas on his head or neck.
Throwing an opponent out of the ring or fenced area.
Holding the shorts or gloves of an opponent.
Spitting at an opponent.
Engaging in unsportsmanlike conduct that causes an injury to an opponent.
Holding the ropes or the fence.
Using abusive language in the ring or fenced area.
Attacking an opponent on or during the break.
Attacking an opponent who is under the care of the referee.
Attacking an opponent after the bell (horn) has sounded the end of a round.
Flagrantly disregarding the instructions of the referee.
Timidity, including, without limitation, avoiding contact with an opponent, intentionally or consistently dropping the mouthpiece or faking an injury.
Interference by the corner.
Throwing in the towel during competition.
Using a foreign object in the ring to your advantage.

As I said: glorified boxing.



Malcolm Pollack said...

And they call that "fighting"?

Kevin Kim said...

No, my friend: they call it Ultimate Fighting.