Thursday, August 23, 2007

postal scrotum: Rob on delivery dudes

My buddy and former coworker (from my old EC gig) Rob writes in:

Hey Kevin,

I had to write to relate a story of an accident I saw the other day involving a couple of Biker Delivery Dudes.

I don't mean to take delight in the misery of others but...I absolutely hate those fuckers.

Anyway, I was waiting for a bus near the Kybo Tower. At the intersection there is construction for a new subway station (it's been going for for the better part of two years now but looks like it's getting close to completion). I'm sure you're aware of the blatant disregard these Biker Deliver Dudes have for any type of traffic law, much like most drivers in Korea seem to exhibit but to a far greater extent. Here's the situation: afternoon rush hour traffic; red light for the North/South bound lanes; Biker Delivery Dude #1 proceeding the bus lane; Biker Delivery Dude #2 waiting patiently on the West side walk for a cross signal; Biker Delivery Dude #1 encounters the traffic waiting for the light and proceeds to cross over into the oncoming lane to get ahead of the traffic; cross signal for East/West pedestrians lights up; Biker Delivery Dude #2 begins to drive his 'Otto-bye' across the street in the cross walk; massive express and inter-city buses block the view of both BDDs; BDD #1 and #2 meet; a short screech of someone's brakes and BDD #2 is launched through the air over the handle bars; BDD #1 is virtually unharmed; BDD #2 is stunned, unmoving and lying on his back in front of the waiting traffic; BDD #1 paces back and forth then proceeds to try to get BDD #2 to sit up and move.

I'm sure you can get the picture from there. Both of them were doing something illegal (BDD #1 in the bus lane then crossing into the on-coming traffic lane while attempting to run a red light and skip ahead of traffic; BDD #2 riding across in the cross walk).

All I could do was think to myself..."YES, it's about time those bastards got hurt!"

I know, not very sympathetic of me but I could give a rat's ass what happens to a BDD. I've had several near misses while walking on the side walk or crossing the street in a crosswalk that I've lost any sympathy I had long ago.

Take care.


I wrote back (edited):

I had a good laugh at this, though my own relationship with the local delivery folks (I think I know them all) is probably not quite as acrimonious as yours-- I'm a slave to Pavlovian stimulus-response: these guys bring me my food.


Rob responded (edited):

I was going to make the qualification about the guys who deliver to me as well, but once the food is delivered they return to the pits of hell from whence they came and are scum again.


Yet another blow to the "all Canucks are bland and overpolite" stereotype. Come to think of it, all the Canucks I know are fuckin' freaks, man. Freaks. Heh. Speaking of freakishness, Rob is a longtime practitioner of kung fu and he'll kick your tiny skull inside-out faster than you can say "Whafuck--?" I once saw Rob demonstrate flexibility in the hallway at EC by twisting one of his feet well past the 180-degree mark. That, folks, was messed up.

Here's an old pic of Rob about to employ the still-controversial "Sausage Method" of language teaching.

this will show you how to curl your tongue when making the R sound


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, this Canuck is freakishly smart, especially being an amatuer weatherman.

Sometimes, revenge is a dish that never makes it to the dinner table when media bias rules. And, why should we trust NASA to spend our tax money when they can't even do simple math? Thanks to a great Canadian for setting the record straight. However, I doubt that Mr. Gore will ammend his film since he profits from this disimformation personally.

Here it is: 1934 was the hottest year in U.S. history, and not 1998 as it previously reported by every chicken little and muckraker trying to scare us to death with doom and gloom.

You can read the full story in the following link since Newsweek and Time haven't made any corrections yet.