what the fuck is this?

I had no idea there's been a rumor, apparently floating around for years, that Michelle Obama is biologically male, Barack Obama is secretly gay, and their children are adopted. See here.

Let me say right up front that this is the sort of thing that makes certain conservatives very hard to take seriously. I give no credence to this rumor whatsoever. I have deep, deep disagreements with Barack Obama—who I thought was a shitty president—and with Michelle Obama (who has amply demonstrated she is not exactly loyal to her home country), but Michelle in particular has been pilloried and harassed for all sorts of reasons having nothing to do with her convictions. I've seen racist memes comparing her to a gorilla; I've heard the talk about her unwonted muscularity; I've seen the supposed dick-in-skirt pictures and thought they were just a way of saying she looks a bit more manly than the average woman. It never once occurred to me to think of Michelle Obama as a trans female, i.e., someone biologically male who, through drugs and surgery, has "transitioned" to female.

I mean, let's pretend for a moment that the rumors are all true: Barry is gay, the name Michelle contains a "he" in it, and the kids are off the shelf (or maybe that's "off the Meshelf"). Then... so what? I couldn't give two shits. But more important, I just can't see these rumors as being true. Really—what the fuck? Well, if you want to go the route of the Birthers and destroy your own credibility, feel free to shout it from the mountaintop: "Michelle's a man! Barack is gay! The kids are adopted!"

Seriously, does no one have anything better to do than chase these rumors?