Saturday, July 03, 2004

green shit meditation

The POSCO Building is also the spanking-new Korea University School of Business Building (actually a tight complex of buildings connected by hallways and breezeways). On Friday afternoon, I decided to stroll inside and leave my signature at the nearest toilet stall.

While I lumbered toiletward, I took time to admire the building's interior-- indeed, quite businesslike. There's a vaulted study area that screams wretched excess; I like it a lot, because it's wide and tall and quiet and could serve as a waiting room in one of the smaller international airports. Lots of wood paneling, computer terminals, open stairwells and a general feeling of muted coolness. I could hang there.

I reached the toilet stall-- more wood paneling, like the Lotte Hotel near Seoul's City Hall-- and sat down to take my dump. I knew right away that the toilet was one of those cursed with a weak flush; whatever my output, it would take at least two flushes to have passably clear water. My ass, the ultimate particle accelerator, squeezed out something that sounded an awful lot like the wet-sliding-flesh noises of the mutated microbes in "Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock." I wiped, stood, and turned around (in that order), and saw that my poop was green. Green like green tea; maybe greener. This inspired a poem:

what does it mean
when your shit is all green?
does it mean your ass
is especially clean?
can it mean your ass
is twice as obscene?
might it mean your lunch
was a bit too lean?

what does it mean
when your shit is all green?

And with that, I flushed twice and left.


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