Monday, March 28, 2005

blood-red moon and the bad guy

Tonight's Namsan walk didn't feel quite as fulfilling as previous ones, but on the way down, around 9:45PM, there was a blood-red moon hovering low in the sky.

Tourists were out. Bunch of loud Americans fooling around, some with cameras. As always, there were couples. One of the depressing things about being in a big city (any big city) is you realize that, no matter what you think of doing, someone's already done it before you. Then again, I suppose that's the human condition, eh? Nothing new under the sun?

Which is why I plan on scaling Seoul Tower naked and pissing into the wind once I'm atop the tallest antenna. I don't think anyone's tried that yet. After that, maybe I'll rock the antenna, and when it bends far enough toward the mountaintop plaza, just let myself fall back to earth, splattering the tourists with a huge, expanding wave of fat. What is there to live for after you've pissed off Seoul Tower?

Wait-- that didn't come out quite right.

Ah, fuck, you know what I mean.

Next topic: I am a bad guy.

I was told this, so it must be true.

Thing is, some people just don't understand that all people are full of self-contradictions. As the overused quote from Whitman goes:

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.

(I'm wondering if that punctuation is correct. I'd have stuck a period after the second "myself," and used a semicolon after "large," instead of that damn comma.)

I'm certainly large. I can't get pregnant, which makes it hard to know whether I can contain multitudes.

So I like religion and shit humor. So I quote from a Buddhist text that says "don't criticize others" and move on to a criticism of Korean Christianity. Show me someone who's totally self-consistent in their actions, and I'll show you a fucking statue.

Anyway, I'm a bad guy. A very bad guy. And right now, I don't give a shit that I am. Considering the steaming pile of bullshit I had to take last Thursday evening, I'm in no mood to be a good guy. If you were in my shoes and knew the details, you'd understand.

Or maybe you wouldn't. Maybe you'd hear my story and then tell me to go take a piss off Seoul Tower. Fucked if I know what you're thinking.


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