Monday, March 28, 2005

postal scrotum: negative people

Maven writes:

How do you deal with people who refuse to see anything positive in their life or in other people?

As I know you are a regular reader of my blog, I know you know some of the difficulties I've had in my life, regarding my mother or pesky co-workers. After many years of unnecessary frustration in my life, the result of attempting to help those who refuse to help themselves, the best word to describe my overall reaction to it all: RESIGNED.

Regarding my mom, I pray for her health; and I find that living well or just being contented is the best response. And when all that fails, strategic avoidance comes in handy.

Regarding those other pesky-pessimists, I have taken on the Christian habit of praying for my enemies. (See my old post regarding my daily devotional). Initially, it felt forced, unnatural.

Eventually, as each day went by that I made this supplication, the hardness of my heart, or the harshness of this grudge, wasn't so sharp. Eventually the grudge itself wasn't first and foremost in my mind. Eventually with time, this grudge will be removed from my heart as well. I know that in still possessing this grudge, I am only hurting myself, not the person who is the source of this negativity.

I recognize it, the grudge, as a negative; however, being human I'm not perfect. I never will be perfect. But this is the process of sanctification. The many crests and valleys in our lives, but more importantly, how we react to those valleys.

Buona Pasqua,

For me, the person in question isn't an enemy, but she made it very clear that she doesn't even consider me a friend. I find that hard to comprehend and hard to stomach. I think she was extremely blind and unfair in her judgement. Though I'm willing to grant she might simply have been emotional at the time, her accusations (which I think are false) were repeated several times over the course of a few days, not merely a "sudden occurrence" in the heat of argument. She really believed every misguided word she'd said. This makes me furious.

I'm trying to take my own advice, to just "put this down." But it's difficult. The hurt runs deep, and I still don't feel I deserved it. Give me a few weeks.


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