Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Solomon redux

And then this odd thought popped into my head. I doubt I'm the first to entertain it.

All the fighting over Jerusalem? I know how to solve it. Do it like Solomon did with the baby, but update Solomon's sword to a bunch of nukes, and have Jerusalem replace the baby . Threaten to nuke the entire city into a sheet of glass and see what happens.


1. The Jews let it go, because of their love for it. Jerusalem goes Muslim.
2. The Muslims let it go, because of their love for it. Jerusalem goes Jewish.
3. Neither side lets go, because as any Buddhist can see, they're too attached to Jerusalem and to concepts of holiness. Nukes fly. Jerusalem becomes man-made roach motel. (We'll assume the Christians aren't even in this debate, because you never freakin' hear from them.)
4. Both sides let go. The Christians finally have a say; the Southern Baptists move in and form an apocalyptic theme park called Jerusaland-- roller coasters with names like The Jihadi and Suicide Bomber and Housewrecking in the Name of G-d and Holy Jesus H. Christ. Other rides might be: The Flying Crucifix, the Deadly Crescent, and the Ninja Star of David.

Just a thought. It simply popped in there, like with poor Ray and the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

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