Sunday, June 19, 2022


saw this and had to buy it, but that was a mistake

boeuf bourguignon, cooking away

keto Spaetzle, which tasted pretty good

the whole package

Honestly, the whole thing looks better than it tastes. The keto Spaetzle, admittedly, did come out looking rough because I started off by squeezing the Spaetzle batter through a colander this time. Halfway through, my arms were hurting from holding the plastic colander away from the heat of the boiling water, so I finally switched back to using my multipurpose mandolin, like last time. The Spaetzle, passing through the wider holes of the mandolin, was way bigger, and that's why, in the above photos, you see "noodles" of different sizes. This did give me some ideas, though, about future noodles and rice grains: the colander can be used to produce Spaetzle "rice," but I still need to figure out how to get the "rice" grains to dry without getting smashed by my hands or my utensils: tiny grains like that are mushy as hell when they come straight out of the boiling water. The answer may be just to dump the "colandered" batter straight into hot oil—avoid the mushing/clumping problem altogether. I think this batter could also be put into a kitchen syringe and used to make long noodles that can be fried up for keto chow mein. It might also serve as a couscous replacement.

The boeuf bourguignon, by contrast, tasted off, and I think I know why. Part of the problem was the "Just Fucking Good Wine" I bought; it was too dry. The other problem was that I burned some of the bacon that went into the mix, and I'm pretty sure that a good bit of the dish's bitterness came from that. I'll have to watch my bacon more carefully next time. I kept it in the skillet when I started pan-frying the skirt steak, and that's probably how the bacon ended up burned. I just now added a spot of erythritol to the dish to take the bitter edge off, and that seems to have worked. A little.

So: more of a loss than a win tonight, and this is the first time I've ever fucked up something as easy to make as boeuf bourguignon. I'll be more mindful next time. Meanwhile, the keto Spaetzle turned out way better than expected, although a little voice told me I needed to add one more egg to the mix. Next time I make Spaetzle, I'll be sure to use the mandolin, not the colander; I'll save the colander for if/when I make keto rice. (Yes, in case you're wondering, I am trying to put off ever tasting cauliflower rice, which is the favored keto rice alternative.)

Maybe next week, I'll try making Spaetzle again (or maybe gnocchi* with this recipe! there's a thought!), but I'll pair it up with my homemade Italian sausage and faux-Fredo (Alfredo, but with Gorgonzola instead of Parmigiano) sauce. That ought to kick ass.


*The pasta does float when it's done, so it's already pretty gnocchi-like.


John Mac said...

"...first time I've ever fucked up something as easy to make as boeuf bourguignon."

Easy for you to say. It looked amazing from here, but the work you had to put into it had me shaking my head in amazement. Sorry the taste wasn't up to your standards, but live and learn and bring on the next batch!

Kevin Kim said...

Well, boeuf bourguignon really is easy to make. The most complicated thing about it is the prep, which is mostly a lot of chopping. After that's done, you just throw the ingredients together and simmer for two hours. Just make sure not to burn the bacon.

Charles said...

I am not a huge fan of the whole "hip wine" thing when it comes to names and labels these days. It's wine, man. If you want to be hip, grow a beard and start a freaking brewery.

And I have to wonder if the wine was just crappy rather than "dry." I find it hard to trust anyone who feels they need to give their wine a name like that. Regardless, if you're going to make boeuf bourguignon... yeah, you probably want to use Burgundy if you can. I would also probably just stick with the button mushrooms, but that's just a personal preference.

Kevin Kim said...

I'll remember that should I ever bring any boeuf bourguignon to your place: button mushrooms only. I usually take advantage of the variety of shrooms that they sell in my basement grocery. I like the varied textures. Tastewise, though, they all end up tasting about the same after a couple hours of cooking together.

As for the wine: my problem is that I've never really bothered to educate myself about alcohol; for the most part, I just pick a red wine, and it seems to make little to no difference which one I use. I think I was especially unlucky this time around. Even my blunt palate could tell something was wrong.

Charles said...

Well, I can't claim to be any expert in wine, either--I'm more of a beer and whisky guy, as you know. And, to be honest, when we've made boeuf bourguignon we've used whatever red wine we had on hand and it's been fine. That's why I wondered if the wine wasn't off in general rather than just dry.