dinnah!

saw this and had to buy it, but that was a mistake

boeuf bourguignon, cooking away

keto Spaetzle, which tasted pretty good

the whole package

Honestly, the whole thing looks better than it tastes. The keto Spaetzle, admittedly, did come out looking rough because I started off by squeezing the Spaetzle batter through a colander this time. Halfway through, my arms were hurting from holding the plastic colander away from the heat of the boiling water, so I finally switched back to using my multipurpose mandolin, like last time. The Spaetzle, passing through the wider holes of the mandolin, was way bigger, and that's why, in the above photos, you see "noodles" of different sizes. This did give me some ideas, though, about future noodles and rice grains: the colander can be used to produce Spaetzle "rice," but I still need to figure out how to get the "rice" grains to dry without getting smashed by my hands or my utensils: tiny grains like that are mushy as hell when they come straight out of the boiling water. The answer may be just to dump the "colandered" batter straight into hot oil—avoid the mushing/clumping problem altogether. I think this batter could also be put into a kitchen syringe and used to make long noodles that can be fried up for keto chow mein. It might also serve as a couscous replacement.

The boeuf bourguignon, by contrast, tasted off, and I think I know why. Part of the problem was the "Just Fucking Good Wine" I bought; it was too dry. The other problem was that I burned some of the bacon that went into the mix, and I'm pretty sure that a good bit of the dish's bitterness came from that. I'll have to watch my bacon more carefully next time. I kept it in the skillet when I started pan-frying the skirt steak, and that's probably how the bacon ended up burned. I just now added a spot of erythritol to the dish to take the bitter edge off, and that seems to have worked. A little.

So: more of a loss than a win tonight, and this is the first time I've ever fucked up something as easy to make as boeuf bourguignon. I'll be more mindful next time. Meanwhile, the keto Spaetzle turned out way better than expected, although a little voice told me I needed to add one more egg to the mix. Next time I make Spaetzle, I'll be sure to use the mandolin, not the colander; I'll save the colander for if/when I make keto rice. (Yes, in case you're wondering, I am trying to put off ever tasting cauliflower rice, which is the favored keto rice alternative.)

Maybe next week, I'll try making Spaetzle again (or maybe gnocchi* with this recipe! there's a thought!), but I'll pair it up with my homemade Italian sausage and faux-Fredo (Alfredo, but with Gorgonzola instead of Parmigiano) sauce. That ought to kick ass.

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*The pasta does float when it's done, so it's already pretty gnocchi-like.