Dangerous Koreans Living in Northern Virginia!

...and they're willing to school you in the ways of the Jedi. Do you have what it takes?

These badasses can train you to explode the testicles of a fleeing squirrel from 60 yards away, using nothing but a piercing shout.

By the time you finish their program, will you be able to dodge bullets?

By the time you finish... you won't have to.

And while I'm at it, you simply HAVE to visit the AtomFilms website and watch the Steven Seagal parodies. Watch them in order.

1. On Deadly Time
2. Donkey Wounds
3. Scattered, Covered, Tortured

If you get tripped up by a "mature content" warning, hit "continue." If something weird is going on, you can find all three links to the Seagal parodies here.