Sometime late last night, I took a rather gargantuan shit and did the typical male thing: I stood up after wiping and looked into the bowl to see my turd off into the swirling netherworld.
What I saw gave me pause: not only did the turd look as huge as it had felt when I was birthing it, but it had also come out in two distinct segments-- one extremely long, the other almost spherical. It was as though I had shat out a baseball and a bat.
Or maybe it was a living exclamation point. God's punctuation.
It was therefore with some sadness that I hit the flush lever and bid my wriggling children farewell.
Perfect Edward James Olmos impression here.
_
The guard below hurd your turd go tumblin', crumblin', bumblin' down the pipe.
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