Wednesday, November 28, 2007

the turd I turded

Sometime late last night, I took a rather gargantuan shit and did the typical male thing: I stood up after wiping and looked into the bowl to see my turd off into the swirling netherworld.

What I saw gave me pause: not only did the turd look as huge as it had felt when I was birthing it, but it had also come out in two distinct segments-- one extremely long, the other almost spherical. It was as though I had shat out a baseball and a bat.

Or maybe it was a living exclamation point. God's punctuation.

It was therefore with some sadness that I hit the flush lever and bid my wriggling children farewell.

Perfect Edward James Olmos impression here.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The guard below hurd your turd go tumblin', crumblin', bumblin' down the pipe.