going artisanal

Some colas that they're selling at the new SSG Food Market:

Guess which one I wrapped my lips around first.

And while the cola didn't taste as if it had come out of a cock, it did taste as if it had come out of a metal pipe. "Strong cola taste," forsooth. Dégoûtant.

As for the other colas (which were also cherry colas): the Wizard of Oz/Golden Records cola was good but a bit weird and watery; the Americana cola had an old-time taste reminiscent of cream soda—heavy on the cherry, light on the cola-ness. Overall, I can't say that I liked any of these colas. This is one time when inquisitiveness indubitably dispatched the pussy.