Tuesday, May 30, 2023

don't try to find your soulmate in a bar

I'm not a bar guy. As far as I'm concerned, bars are bad news, and that's especially true when it comes to the opposite sex. You wanna meet somebody? Do it while participating in a wholesome activity. For some of you, that might be something churchy. For others, maybe it's something academic. For still others, "wholesome" might mean "athletic." And for the rest of you, it could mean something quiet like fishing, long walks, or art class. It's a law of human nature: go to a bar to find people, and all you'll find is bar people. Does that make me a stuck-up son of a bitch? Yes, but only if you're insecure.



2 comments:

John Mac said...

I've spent a lifetime in bars and never saw anything happen like what is depicted in this clip. Yeah, there might occasionally be a fight break out between two assholes, but it almost always ends after just a couple of punches. These barroom brawls where everyone jumps in are, for the most part, a Hollywood fantasy.

I've met a lot of good people who enjoy drinking in a social environment. Lots of them participate in sporting events like pool and darts (one bar here even does horseshoes!). To me, the bar scene is not much different than hanging out with other like-minded folks at a backyard barbeque.

To your larger point about looking for love in all the wrong places, I agree the working girls hired by the bars for "entertainment" aren't good candidates for long-term relationships (although there are exceptions). In this clip, both of the women had spouses already, and there was nothing to indicate they were former bargirls. That fight could have happened anywhere, but I concede an alcohol-fueled jealous rage can indeed exacerbate the situation.

Some people drink in bars, some drink at home, and some people don't drink at all. I'm completely in the camp of "do what works for you."

Kevin Kim said...

I've spent a lifetime in bars and never saw anything happen like what is depicted in this clip.

Maybe so, but you do have a buddy who went to jail for punching a Korean who then fell and died. Drama is never far.

I've met a lot of good people who enjoy drinking in a social environment.

I don't doubt that there are people there who qualify as "good" on some level, but my point was whether they qualify as relationship material. Sure, sure—there are love stories that begin with, "We met in a bar." But I'd venture that that's not how the majority of love stories begin.

In this clip, both of the women had spouses already, and there was nothing to indicate they were former bargirls.

The point is the trashy behavior of the flirtatious lady, who may have had a few. Alcohol, from what I've been, does not improve one's judgment, resulting in trashy or dickish behavior.

I'm completely in the camp of "do what works for you."

By default, I'm in that camp, too. I can't spend day after day condemning bar-related behavior, and people are free to spend or misspend their lives as they see fit. But my answer to bars is: steer clear. I see nothing good or fun about them. Unless we're talking about one of those quiet bars with relatively little traffic. I've ordered burgers in such places, and the experience was... okay.