Saturday, July 05, 2003

Saddam and the Newest Tape

So along with George Bush's "bring 'em on," we've got Saddam pulling a bin Laden and making a tape while in hiding. If it's actually Saddam and not, say, his debased Information Minister doing a Saddam impression.

I'd like to think we're being modest as a country. I'd like to think Saddam is indeed in Iraq, but he's been captured by US forces, who are acquainting him with the features of his own torture chambers. Nah, maybe not the really extreme stuff; maybe Saddam's in those torture chambers getting up close and personal with humble US Govt-issue items like stiff toilet brushes, splintery mop handles, and burn-producing floor cleaners. Bend over, Saddam. Uncle Sam loves you thiiiiiiis much.

Or maybe Saddam's going through a "Clockwork Orange"-style rehabilitation: watching pictures of his own depredations against the Iraqi people while his favorite music is played loudly and his stomach gurgles with the chemically-induced urge to vomit. He may need a long course of treatment to end up like Malcolm McDowell's character, though.

In other news: I want to visit Finland.

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