Thursday, February 05, 2004

American prudery in full flower

(via Drudge) People are in a tizzy about an upcoming "ER" episode that'll feature-- get this-- an elderly woman's breast.

For Christ's sake, fucking RELAX, asswipes. As others have pointed out-- it's prime time, i.e., the adult hour. You kind of expect adult material during the adult hour, yes? Remember when people were shocked by David Caruso's bare ass (not to mention words like "dick," "asshole," and "bitch") on "NYPD Blue," years back? Aren't we over that shit yet? Obviously not.

Sex doesn't mix well with religious sensibilities, and this is especially true in American public life and consciousness. I'm tempted to say the problem is related to monotheistic hangups, but that claim proves to be patently false when you examine prudery in Buddhist countries and contexts. So it's not specifically a monotheistic problem, this sex complex, though I still think it's very much related to religion. Ask the Taliban what they think.

"No clits! All we ask is NO... FUCKING... CLITS!! Is that so hard to understand? Oh-- and no tits, either. Beards are OK. Long, hairy Osama-beards. We make our women wear droopy headgear because it makes them look like they've got beards, too. Sexy. Ever watch that scene from 'Monty Python's "Life of Brian"'? You know-- where all the bearded people stoning the blasphemer turn out to be women with fake beards? Overpoweringly sexy, that scene."

If your anti-breasticle argument is that "my kids don't need to be exposed to this," I'd have to ask, "Why are your kids watching TV that late?" America's not Korea, where kids stay up until the ungodliest hours. Give the kiddies a book.

In the meantime, unpucker the Sphincter of Righteousness, O my people. For your own good.


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