Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Charles's galling adventure

My buddy Charles talks about his recent adventure under the knife: he had to get his gall bladder removed after it turned out not to belong to him. An excerpt from his entry:

I woke up, briefly, in the middle of surgery. Instinctively, I looked down at my abdomen, which yawned wide in a bloody grin. I could see my pulsating insides—slick with blood and so alive—and the sight filled me with horror. My brain gibbered, and it took me a moment to realize that the nurses had abandoned my side and were running toward one of the surgeons; he was in the corner of the operating room, desperately wrestling with something large, glistening, tentacled, and aggressive.

"Kill it! Kill it!" screamed a nurse. I saw one of those great tentacles coil itself firmly around the surgeon's neck. I heard the sickening pop of cervical vertebrae giving way under murderous pressure.

That came from me? I thought wildly. And then a flash of pride: I'm a mom!

At that point, I fainted.


1 comment:

Charles said...

I thought for sure you would excerpt the part where I started shooting globs of flaming bile from my rectum.

Different stroke for different folks, I suppose.