No turkey for our Thanksgiving. My boss did grumble about that. He tried to pass it off as humor, but in some measure, he was doubtless displeased to have his ideal vision of Thanksgiving violated. I think, next time, I'll have to try harder to obtain proper turkey meat. Maybe that means going to John Cook Deli Meats a week earlier and ordering turkey breast that can arrive with time to spare. Maybe that means biting the bullet and ordering a whole turkey from Coupang, then breaking the bird down and roasting it in parts. (The Walmart where I used to live in Front Royal sold whole turkey breast, which I fed to my buddy Dr. Steve back when Dr. Steve used to come over for Thanksgiving. That would be ideal for me. Maybe that, plus a turkey leg or two.)
In the aftermath of our big meal, as I was mulling over the whole no-turkey thing yesterday evening, I saw that Chef Brian Lagerstrom had put up a new video: what to do with your leftover turkey. And the three suggestions that Lagerstrom came up with were genius. Which caused a pang: I don't have the turkey to make the things he shows in his video. So as the cats in the memes say, I has a sad.* Enjoy the video all the same.
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*I never understood why people would think that, if cats could speak, they'd be ungrammatical. That whole I has a sad or I can haz cheezburger thing is just not appropriate for cats. In my imagination, if cats would speak, they would talk in impeccably grammatical, posh British English, maybe switching to less grammatical Cockney when under stress. Dogs, on the other hand, are considered good-hearted but goofy, so making their English sound mildly retarded makes sense to me, although I'm not a big fan of those memes and subtitles that use dog puns like What the fluff? or Fluff off! or cutesy words like heccin' (canine for "fucking") and chimkin (for "chicken"). And I'd make allowances for grammatical dogs if we're talking about breeds with a serious, stern, guardian temperament like German Shepherds and Dobermans. Those dogs would sound grammatical, like drill sergeants verbally cutting you to ribbons with their precise, vivid language.
Honestly, I never understood the whole thing about turkey. Yeah, I get it--it's tradition. But turkey is the least tasty of all the fowl that we eat; chicken or duck, and even pheasant or Cornish game hens, etc., are all much better. Can you cook turkey so that it tastes good? Sure. I've definitely had good turkey, just like I've had bad chicken or duck. But that doesn't change the fact that I would probably rather have any other bird than turkey.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you spend way too much time thinking about what sort of grammar and vocabulary animals would use if they could talk.
Of the fowl you mentioned, duck is the most flavorful on its own while chicken, especially the white meat, is more like a blank canvas waiting for extra flavors to enhance it. I've tried pheasant a couple times when passing through the Suanbo region on my long walks, and while it was good, it didn't bowl me over. As I think I remarked on a walk blog, pheasant meat might make for a decent sausage.
ReplyDeleteNext things to fixate on: if mice, parrots, and cockatoos could speak English.