Sunday, June 27, 2021

keto hummus: fail

My basement grocery follows the anti-capitalistic "close every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month" schedule that's supposed to allow Mom & Pop stores a chance to operate freely without any big dogs around to compete with them. As I said, anti-capitalistic. This means I couldn't buy a second head of cauliflower after I messed up my first batch of cauliflower hummus this morning, so I have to wait until tomorrow morning to try again. I ruined the batch by adding a near-spoonful of erythritol sweetener in an attempt to take the salty edge off the hummus. Bad move, as it turned out: the whole thing became sickeningly sweet, and I had to throw away the whole batch. Lesson learned. So next time, I'll just add less salt and avoid the sweetener entirely.

But as a proof of concept, my hummus was a success. I once again showed you don't need tahini to get that sesame-seed flavor if you have sesame oil (and I added almond butter to simulate tahini's texture). Pile on all the spices and seasonings associated with hummus, and cauliflower does indeed make for a decent substitute. If you've never tried this before, I recommend it. You'll be shocked at how hummus-like the result is. So here's the recipe I went with, taking into account the mistakes I made:


1 head cauliflower
2 tbsp almond butter
6 tbsp sesame oil
6 tbsp olive oil
175 ml water
small pinch of salt
pepper to taste
garlic powder to taste
onion powder to taste
cumin to taste
dried parsley to taste
paprika to taste
turmeric for color (otherwise, your cauliflower hummus will look deathly white)
chipotle pepper powder to taste (optional)


1. Cut cauliflower into large florets; wash to remove any dirt.
2. Cut florets down further into bite-size chunks.
3. Microwave cauliflower on high for ten minutes. Dump into food-processor bowl.
4. Add oils, spices, lime juice, water, and seasonings.
5. Blitz until you have a smooth, hummus-like texture.
6. Pour into bowl. Add more parsley and paprika on top for effect.
7. Serve!

This recipe is partially based on a Headbanger's Kitchen recipe. I already know how to make hummus with chickpeas, but I needed help with the cauliflower.

Anyway, I'll try again tomorrow morning, assuming the grocery has any more cauliflower.

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