Friday, June 11, 2021

the last hurrah

I've been looking forward to today as a cheat day (burgers! galmaegi!), and I've decided to take a break from tracking my food intake on MyFitnessPal because I already know my numbers are going to be bad. I also know I'm going to pay hard for this cheat day tomorrow, but tomorrow is the start of my new austerity, so there's no surprise there. What I'm really curious about is what sort of emotional toll the cheat day will take in terms of regret, feelings of bloat, etc. I'm sure the effects will carry over to Saturday as well, with things hopefully returning to my new normal by Sunday.

The very notion of a new normal is interesting: I am, in fact, getting used to the way I've been eating since leaving the hospital: surviving on less, eating better food, feeling more energetic (which may be one reason why my sleep patterns are changing). A cheat day disrupts all that, but I'm hoping that my body will eventually get used to a rhythm that includes cheat days. I said I'd build two cheat days into every month, but part of me is thinking maybe one a month is better—at least in some months. We have monthly food events at the office, and I'd like to have the ability to go out with friends once in a while without having to worry about diet; this is why I originally said two cheat days a month. But in some months, that might not be necessary: especially these days, I see most of my friends only rarely (JW is the only friend I see regularly), so there may well be months when I need only a single cheat day. We'll see. I'll work it out, and some sort of rhythm will be established once the austerity is done.

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