Scheißapalooza

As much as I like to joke scatologically, it's rare for me to post pictures of actual shit on the blog—especially human shit. So consider this your warning: what follows are pics of the lone Western-style toilet in the men's room on the floor of the building where I work. We share the second floor with a bank, a gym, and a children's hagweon (cram school). What you're going to see below is almost certainly the result of some kid who couldn't hold it in. Part of me feels bad for the student, who probably had to deal with the disapproval of classmates as he slunk back into class reeking of his own excrement. But part of me is just exasperated because I'm tempted to think that kids who do this sort of thing are somehow lacking in good breeding. I don't recall ever suffering such a disaster myself; I'd like to think my parents taught me well. 

My lone in-school bathroom incident happened when I was in kindergarten: I went to the boys' room of my elementary school to take a piss, and I did what I usually did at home when pissing: I dropped my pants around my ankles. Big mistake, that: a couple other kids walked in on me as I was whizzing away, ass exposed, and they started laughing derisively. Lesson learned: shame is a great teacher. After that day, I never dropped trou in public again. I'm sure a psychiatrist would agree that such an incident can be life-shaping.

The images below are, honestly, not the worst I've seen. Back when our team worked in the Cheongshil building down the street a few years ago, some fucker (and these were middle schoolers who should have known better) left the bathroom cubicle after having actively smeared his shit all over the toilet seat. Disgusted, I left and came back with cleaning materials and cleaned the mess up myself, muttering the entire time like Argus Filch stalking through the halls of Hogwarts. How long would the shit have sat there before a janitor cleaned it up? I have no idea. But I can say that, today, I went back to our men's room many hours later to see whether a janitor had come by, and... nope. The shit was still there. I work in a dilapidated, old building, and the janitorial staff is equally old and dilapidated, so there's never a reason to expect an instantaneous response, whether the problem involves shit-smeared toilets or pools and droplets of dark venous blood (yeah, we've had that before, too) or pipes clogged with obviously misused toilet paper. Our men's room has suffered every conceivable insult, and sometimes, the problem gets fixed within a few hours, but at other times, like today, the problem just sits there. I thought about cleaning this mess up myself, but I succumbed to my own laziness and used the restroom on the first floor.

All that said, this is still fairly disgusting:

the wide, establishing shot

I wonder whether the kid dipped his hair in shit, then wiped it on the floor.

Another thing I always find mysterious is how the shit gets to the front of the toilet bowl.

a little back-rim action

I assume the restroom must have been cleaned by now. That, or it'll be cleaned tomorrow morning. Either way, I'm shaking my head at the students. Reason Number 592 for why you should never have kids. They fling shit around like gorillas.