Friday, November 17, 2006

siesta, followed by errands and dinner

I'm tired as hell after a bad night's sleep. Am gonna take a nap, do some errands, and then head over to Dr. Hodges's Cyclone-fenced domicile for some chow.

It's not every day that one can actually see Dr. Hodges in person. As something of a global celebrity, Dr. Hodges has found it necessary to fortify his home and office to protect himself and his family from the prying eyes of the press and various panty-throwing admirers, female and male.

A Google Earth shot of the good professor's compound reveals a home set inside three concentric circles of electrified security fence, what appear to be guard dogs the size of trailer trucks, and, perhaps most bizarrely, a ring of large-breasted strippers. I assume the latter's role is mainly to serve as a distraction of some sort, to hold an intruder's attention so that the house's roof-mounted Vulcan cannon has time to acquire a lock and blast the target to smithereens.

When I was invited to dinner weeks ago, Dr. Hodges told me that he needed a few items from me for ID confirmation purposes. I was then forced at gunpoint into a dank concrete cell, where I had to provide a lock of hair along with stool, urine, and blood samples. The man is known throughout the Koreablogosphere for his thoroughness; this procedure simply confirmed Dr. Hodges's reputation.

I was then prodded into a metallic teleportation booth. When I stepped out, I found myself in some sort of clinic, where I was asked by a stunningly gorgeous receptionist to fill out a separate form and provide a sperm sample. When I asked why, I was told this was "for Korea University bioweapons research purposes." I shrugged, signed the form, and left a generous sample all over the lovely woman's desk.

Wish me luck this evening. Siesta time now.

UPDATE: My siesta pinishi!


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