Tuesday, June 01, 2021

enlightenment while pooping

I think I shat out a fucking cucumber just a few minutes ago. Not some little gherkin, mind you—I'm talking about one of those big brutes from the garden that looks as if it wants to fight you. It took the better part of an hour to do the deed, and when it happened—when there was a sudden release reminiscent of a rocket launching—there was a satori-like moment of realization: green salads and chicken breast = not much fiber. So I need to add a ton of fiber to my diet to get back to being regular. I have psyllium tablets, not to mention a whole bag of psyllium-husk powder sitting in a kitchen cabinet and currently doing nothing, so I'll put those to good use. Say no to shit plugs.

Yeah, I'm learning as I go.



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